Another old convo between the two of us that I'm posting because its been a year and the story idea hasn't been thought of much less written on beyond two lines, and also... this cracked me the hell up re-reading. When I reminded Ivory of this, her exact words were: oh my god we should never be allowed out alone.

We think the reason for coming up with this stuff is the serious lack of drugs.

NSFW

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kazbaby(12:00:39AM): has anyone ever written a fic where Daniel took Shifu from Kheb as an infant and raised him?
ivorygates(12:00:50AM): I've never read one
kazbaby(12:00:58AM): because i got an idea for a story and i so don't want to write it.  it's like absolute power, only worse. :-D
kazbaby(12:04:20AM): Shifu, or Evil!Bob as i've nicknamed him for this, doesn't get Oma's teaching to block the Goa'uld knowledge. Daniel raises him and is super protective of him since he'd promised Sha're and over time the evilness of the kid's knowledge begins to influence Daniel. and it's just a fun romp in the park from there. :-D  I'm so not going to write it.
ivorygates(12:05:03AM): you have to write it! nobody else can do it justice!
kazbaby(12:08:04AM): if i do write it. i refuse to let it be a big fic.  i shall write a haiku of evilness.  (which is funny since i can't write a haiku to save my life)
ivorygates(12:09:27AM): seventeen syllables what's the problem?
kazbaby(12:09:48AM): seventeen syllables
ivorygates(12:10:13AM): ah
kazbaby(12:11:01AM): my brain shuts down trying to figure it out. i've never been able to finish a single one.
ivorygates(12:11:08AM): awwwww

kazbaby(12:30:06AM): do you think that if Daniel were raising Evil!Bob, he'd bring Kasuf from Abydos to help him? (teaching him Abydan (sp?) customs so the boy would know his mother's ways.)
ivorygates(12:30:31AM): depending on how Evil!Bob worked on Daniel's brain.
kazbaby(12:32:02AM): *nod* just trying to figure out (for some damn reason) if Kasuf would be asked to come while Evil!Bob was still a baby and later gotten rid of... or something like that.  he'd probably think of his grandfather as nothing more than a slave to be discarded.  or Kasuf would see what he really was and try to warn Daniel and... k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k! 
kazbaby(12:35:31AM): poor Kasuf. :-D
kazbaby(12:36:43AM): it'd be fucked up if he made a Goa'uld ribbon device out of an erector set.
ivorygates(12:37:15AM): and a toaster.
kazbaby(12:37:27AM): and daddy's anal plug?
kazbaby(12:37:32AM): *ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*
ivorygates(12:37:39AM): *snort* he'd need a power source.
kazbaby(12:38:19AM): AAs won't cut it, will it?
kazbaby(12:46:50AM): i love Dark!Daniel.
ivorygates(12:47:15AM): he's sweet. really.
kazbaby(12:47:40AM): cuddly teddy bear w/ teeth.  do you think Evil!Bob naturally has powers because of the knowledge or that comes from Oma's teachings?
ivorygates(12:51:04AM): i think Oma did stuff to him before Daniel got there. i think he also has it naturally because he's Harceisis.  there has to be a reason Apophis was so hot to make a Harceisis for a host, man.
kazbaby(12:52:41AM): very good point. and why if someone tried they'd be banished.
ivorygates(12:53:08AM): yes.

kazbaby(12:56:14AM): Daniel definitely kept jack around for a fucktoy after he took over the world in absolute power.
ivorygates(12:56:52AM): of course.
kazbaby(12:58:08AM): :-D then he spotted a certain hotshot pilot one day and found him beautiful and imagined how he'd be under his hand, under jack, and brought him home.
 ivorygates(1:01:45AM): (probably whoever the AF had given him to fly him places.) (whoever being cam)  (you must write this)
kazbaby(1:05:34AM): ha!

This is all that was ever written for Evil!Bob & Daniel: The white picket fence is blue and we sit inside the house it surrounds, plotting how to conquer the free world over a game of Scrabble. There’s popcorn and life is good.