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02 June 2009 @ 10:10 am
SG-1 Fic: the sheep flies sideways at midnight  
note: Written for [info] - personalivorygates' birthday. She who is shiny and awesome and one of best people I know. This hasn't had a beta and written with no sleep. This is crack!fic written in love. Consider this a warning. ;)
rating: PG-13 for language



the sheep flies sideways at midnight


"I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson, for bringing you in on your downtime but SG-13 stated that they needed SG-1's assistance immediately. They believe they've found evidence that will lead us to Merlin's weapon," Landry said tiredly over the phone.

"If they know that much, why can't they bring…"

"The writing is engraved into the side of a very large building. If I heard correctly, you could probably fit three Cheyenne Mountains inside it and still have change left over."

"That's big," Dani yawned, "When are we scheduled to leave?"

"Immediately. I've already spoken with Colonel Mitchell and he's on his way to pick you up. Colonel Carter and Teal'c will rendezvous with you both on the planet within the next six hours."

"Oh…," she yawned again, remembering that Sammy was in California and Teal'c was meeting his first grandchild, "Are they really needed for this mission? I mean neither have seen their families in quite a while." She didn't want to add that this may be the last chance either of them had if the Ori continued their push through the galaxy.

"Given that the nature of the request, I don't really see a need to pull them away from their families. I'll contact them while you and Colonel Mitchell are on your way in."

"Thank you, General," she heard a knock at the door, "Mitchell just arrived. We'll be there shortly." Hanging up the phone, Dani padded through the dark apartment and looked through the peephole and confirmed it was Mitchell standing on the other side before unlocking it.

"Landry said that he's going to contact Sammy and Teal'c and let them sit this one out. No reason they should have to be bored off their asses watching me translate," she said and headed back to the bedroom to dress.

"And good morning to you too, Sunshine," Mitchell called out and she could hear him go into the kitchen. One of these days she was going to smack him for calling her that. From the sound of crinkling paper she figured he'd stopped somewhere for coffee and was setting out the fixings for her.

She splashed some cold water in her face to help wake up and quickly brushed her teeth before running a comb through her hair. Joining him in the kitchen, Dani stopped dead in the doorway when she saw that there was a cupcake adorned with sprinkles and a tiny plastic balloon sitting next to her coffee.

"What's that?"

Mitchell gave her one of his innocent looks. "It's called a cupcake. They are cakes the size of a cup, hence the name. In other words: breakfast. Didn't have time to swing by Mickey D's so I stopped at the 24-hour bakery."

"Oh, it's…pretty."

He laughed and took a drink of his own coffee. "Jus' grabbed what was near the register. I'm ready whenever you are," he said before covering his mouth to stifle a yawn. "Sorry."

Moving to the table, Dani quickly added cream and sugar to her coffee and took a sip before grabbing the cupcake from the table. "I'm sure we'll have synchronized yawning before we reach the mountain. Let's go."

#


Three days of the Condor? The sheep flies sideways at midnight? "This is crap! Have they even tried dating any of this before calling me? I don't see anything mentioning Merlin's weapon. And I'm pretty sure that this one panel is the Ancient version of Pig Latin…," Dani mumbled, not sure whether to be angry that someone is playing a joke or setting them up for an ambush.

Shoving her things back into her pack, Dani stomps her feet a couple times to get the feeling back in them and heads through the short passageway in the direction of SG-13. She only goes three steps and realizes she's forgotten something - someone - and looks around. Keying her radio she asks, "Mitchell, where the hell did you go?"

"I had to shake the spiders out of my legs. I was just heading back your way to fetch you for lunch," he answered.

Whipping her flashlight along the walls. "Spiders? There's spiders in here and you didn't fucking warn me?"

"Not real spiders, Jackson. It's just an expression. I was bored and my ass went numb watching you suss out the wall. Plus…," she rolls her eyes as Mitchell whispers over the radio, "I had to pee."

Not even bothering to respond to that bit of information, Dani emerges back out into the daylight ready to start chewing Sergeant Conrad a new asshole for not checking his data before calling her in when she notices a small group, larger than just the five expected men, standing close to the entrance. Her gun instantly comes up because the camp is two miles away from the site and Mitchell didn't warn her about the new guests.

It only takes a spilt second to recognize SG-13's members, Dixon could stand out at a Celtics game (and she hates Cameron Mitchell because she knows who the Celtics are and that they have zero hope this season), along with Mitchell. The new arrivals all grin up at Dani and she thinks she must have gone crazy when she came up around that last bend because she's damn sure that Sammy was in California, Teal'c was on Chulak and a certain Jack O'Neill was stuck in Washington tap dancing with the IOA and trying to remove the stick that'd been surgically implanted. But no. They were here and standing in front of a table covered in food that was not MREs and where in the fuck did they get a cake?"

"Jack! Mitchell! What in the fuck is going on here?"

The group shouted 'Happy Birthday' as she came closer to them.

"What is going on here is that there is a certain young woman whose birthday it is and who has been so busy at doing her job she does not seem to be able to catch a clue as to what day that is. And do you know how damn hard it is to get a cake through the gate?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, believe me…it's hard. Especially when we didn't want Hank to know about it."

"That explains that ridiculous "Ancient" text that I was woken up out of my nice warm bed to translate. You came up with that didn't you, Jack?"

"Like that? It was pure inspiration. Carter was able to make it look like real ancient Ancient. And you should really thank Mitchell here, not only did he set this up but he cooked all the food himself."

She looked at SG-1's not-so new commander incredulously.

"Happy Birthday, Dr. Jackson."

Originally posted at http://kazbaby.dreamwidth.org/712081.html. You can comment there using OpenID.|comment count unavailable comments
 
 
moodswing: exhaustedexhausted
 
 
 
eclipsegigerisgod on June 3rd, 2009 12:14 am (UTC)
in my humble opinion, this is THE coolest birthday fic.
Kaz: Captain Funkazbaby on June 3rd, 2009 12:40 am (UTC)
*bows* thank you! i started out to be just pure happy schmoop but then jack and the kids wanted to show up. hehe

Edited at 2009-06-03 12:40 am (UTC)
grammarwoman: BB is charmed I'm suregrammarwoman on June 3rd, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
Awwwww....Because the cupcake didn't clue her in at all. Silly Dani!