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01 April 2009 @ 12:33 pm
Thank my mother for this April Fools post.  
*_The Day the P. Niss asked for a Raise_*

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

P. Niss

* The Response*

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

V. Gina

There was no way I could top last years post and I couldn't ever do something that cruel again. ;)
moodswing: busybusy
arthurfrdent: EViLLaugharthurfrdent on April 1st, 2009 04:49 pm (UTC)
better than being

dunno 'bout the whole age 65 thing... the problem isn't if you are willing to work, but having a partner willing to let you...