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13 September 2008 @ 08:57 pm
Smut is kicking my ass  
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Dudes, I almost wrote the words 'throbbing' and 'cock' and they were next to each other. That is a bad sign.

While, like any good red-blooded female, I like to read about things throbbing during sex. What I don't like to read is that throbbing object in question being a dick. I always think of something purplish and pimply for some reason. *shudder* (swear to god I read a fic over the last day or so that had poor Jack O'Neill's dick breakdancing from the description of how it was throbbing and jumping.)

But it could have been worse, could have been 'manhood' or 'love muscle'.
Tags: ,
moodswing: busywork, you damn words!
stultiloquentia on September 13th, 2008 09:06 pm (UTC)
Or pork sword. Or gnomon. *iz helpful*
Kaz: Braca/Scorpy Lovekazbaby on September 13th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
Very helpful.

OoooOo... I know what I can use: Love Rocket or Light Saber O Love.

Sid: Jack seriously?sidlj on September 13th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)

I believe the proper terminology is "tumescent organ".
Kaz: Clench (Cameron)kazbaby on September 13th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
*looks up the definition of tumescent*

Ooo.. see that's better sounding. *giggle*
Still tangled up in you: sheetsstarglyph on September 13th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC)
You have, temporarily, I hope, absolutely ruined my enjoyment of throbbing things. "Throb" now has about the same appeal as the term "boob." I'm not even sure it sounds like a word any more. I've spent most of my day polishing the sex things (that sounds more exciting that in is) in the fic I'm writing. In 30,000 words, in which there's a lot of sex, there are four versions of "throb," and none of them refers to a headache. Pulse? Beat? Pound? Grr!

Also, a breakdancing dick? Bwahaha!

Also, also, I first read your post as "Smut is licking my ass." Maybe I need a break? :)

Kaz: Kinky (Cameron)kazbaby on September 13th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
Awww... didn't mean to ruin you throbbing enjoyment. And it's not all throbbing things, just that throbbing 'thing'.

We need a sex thesaurus.

Also, a breakdancing dick? Bwahaha!

It was quite traumatizing and I felt really bad for Jack in that condition. Can't even pet the poor woobie in sympathy because... you know... he has a breakdancing dick.

Also, also, I first read your post as "Smut is licking my ass." Maybe I need a break? :)

*dies* Naw... Just means you need to write more porn. Photobucket
s808: think happy thoughtsscorpy808 on September 13th, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)
This whole post, and the ensuing comments, officially took "lol of the day" for me.

*gives you a plate of cookies*
Kaz: Hand Porn (John)kazbaby on September 13th, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
*nibbles on cookies* Gracias, doll.

Glad we could be of services.
Liza: Dick Measuring Contestlizamanynames on September 13th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
Everytime I hear those trashy romance novel words, I keep flashing back to "10 things I hate about you"

"What's another word for 'engorged?'"

"Plump? Turgid? Tumescent?"
Kaz: Piss off Plot Bunny (John)kazbaby on September 13th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)
Oh god, I love that scene! And I didn't fully appreciate it until I started writing fanfic. :)
Liza: Laugh away the painlizamanynames on September 14th, 2008 12:50 am (UTC)
I love that character, that whole movie.

In my mind, Perky writes fanfic. ^_^