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10 August 2008 @ 08:17 pm
What a waste of a perfectly dirty mind  
Realistically I know what it means to write a sex scene. I can picture every curve and thrust perfectly in my mind but when go to write it for some reason all I can come up with is:

He put his thingy in her thingy then whoohoo funtime! And there was some kissin' too.

moodswing: hornytrying to write prOn
Being loud is part of my mystique: sg1 C srs bznschase_acow on August 10th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
Best sex sentence ever. : )

I've written a lot of sex, and I'm sure the scenes run the scale from lousy to funny (but it wasn't suppose to be) to decent to (hopefully) hot. I think it's partially a rhythm thing. I remember reading one post comparing sex scenes to action scenes that was helpful, but I have no idea where I saw it at.

Sometimes it's just easier to cop-out because the imagination is better than my writing will ever be.
s808: cocked & loadedscorpy808 on August 10th, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
Ha! That was the best laugh I had all day! Maybe you should write spoof sex scenes??
eclipse: Mitchell_BadBoygigerisgod on August 11th, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
don't care, I'm cheering you on anyway!
ninja007ninja007 on August 11th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
OMG, but you made me laugh. I thank you for that... I really needed it.
Liza: Don't hate me 'cause I'm speciallizamanynames on August 11th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I feel your pain.

He put his thingy in her thingy then whoohoo funtime! And there was some kissin' too.

*dies laughing*

I kinda want that on a tshirt, now.
(Deleted comment)
lemonbombslem0nb0mbs on August 12th, 2008 12:19 am (UTC)
Oh, yes. yes, e do.
Kaz: What's This? (John/D'Argo)kazbaby on August 12th, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
Do I sense a new SaneTV shirt? *giggle* just kidding.
lemonbombslem0nb0mbs on August 12th, 2008 01:34 pm (UTC)
I think this would be best expressed hand-stenciled (or written in sharpie) on a shirt, but if anyone wants one, I could give it a shot.

*visualizes Jayne Cobb struggling with the spelling of "thingie" whoile writing on an old undershirt*

I'm also interested in how any given character would rephrase the same sentence to suit their personality. Like Chiana would be all street slang, and Sam Cater would repeatedly say "you know!" and use discrete hand gestures.
Liza: Stark voiceslizamanynames on August 27th, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
See, now my brain is trying to translate it into "Stark" - and that's just WRONG.
lemonbombs: hats-jaynesantidrug-littlekfrulem0nb0mbs on August 11th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
That is
how Jayne Cobb would write porn.

Heh. Fun with dick, and Jayne.

*ducks and runs*
(Deleted comment)
Kaz: Dani & Cam (Waterloo Universe)kazbaby on August 11th, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
that's cuz you're really really fuckin' good.
Ash: Milodvshipper on August 13th, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)
SO true!!