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29 January 2008 @ 12:55 am
Fic: photo of the friend that I was looking for  
Author's Note: It's sort of weird how these came about. I'd re-colored a promo photo of Cameron Mitchell and decided at one point the effect looked enough like an old photo to finish up that way and added text for Jack and Sam, and for the fun of it I switched who Jack was marrying and somehow these little background stories came out when I was chatting with ivorygates about the different reasons for Cameron’s look at each wedding. Needless to say she encouraged me to write these. I should also add my thanks to her for putting up with my grammar (and the fact I am horribly blind when it comes to tenses) and offering to beta this and making my head hurt. I want to buy her a house now. ;) Website version.
Spoilers: None really, but they do take place after Season 10.
Characters: Jack/Sam, Daniel/Cameron, Jack/Daniel
Rated: PG
Disclaimer: Not making a dime off these guys. Just taking them out for a spin.




photo of the friend that I was looking for




At Sam's wedding…

Cam is actually proud and a little wistful watching her standing beside O'Neill. They've been friends for a damn long time and he's seen all of her highs and lows. For a while he'd suspected that she'd decided to hide away from the world and asked to work in 'deep space telemetry'. There was less chance to get hurt again if she was buried in her work. She'd been too quiet, and, it seemed to him, out of her depth when they were able to play catch-up over the phone. Eventually he'd been able to sweet-talk her into taking some time off back home, because home for her was an empty apartment and a person could think too damn much when they're alone like that. It makes him laugh when he thinks about it now.

He's also so very happy for her. And he approves of her choice this time. He's seen some real pieces of work come across her path, but with O'Neill he knows in his gut that it's the real deal for both of them. Something both of them fought hard for and won. Cam can think of no better way to find that special person that'll walk side-by-side with you during life's trials than a person that has literally walked through fire with you.

After Sam and O'Neill say "I Do", Cam stands, and watches with everyone else as they walk down the aisle. Sam glances over as he times a little wave, raising his hand high enough to catch her eye. She nods and smiles brightly before passing him by.

It takes a little while for everyone to file out of the church and re-organize for the photographer, and Cam keeps busy pointing folks in the right direction and swinging back around every now and then to see if his parents need anything while waiting their turn to have their photos taken with the bride’s side of the family. When he thinks back, Cam is pretty sure that it was one of the few times in his life he’d seen his momma at a loss for words, but Sam had insisted that both she and Daddy take part since they’d all pretty much adopted one another years ago. Momma had sounded a bit choked up as she said they’d be honored to stand in her parents’ place.

Coming back from escorting his parents out to one of the cars O’Neill had hired for several family members to ferry them around, he was almost ready to call it a day, but there was still the reception and possibly a private party afterward for some of the SGC. Who knew that a wedding could be just as exhausting as a trip offworld? Walking through the archway, Cam spots Daniel standing at the top of the steps, hands in his pockets, watching the happy couple attempt to make it through the crowd to their limo. He stops beside him. “Sam is gorgeous."

Daniel nods. "She is."

"They're lucky," Cam says, and figures that Daniel will know it means: to have found each other, to have survived this long and been blessed enough to see it all the way to the end. He feels something graze, whisper-soft and discreet, over the back of his hand and turns his full attention to his companion, sees the quirk of a smile as Daniel answers, "They are."

"Come on, Jackson, we've got a bride to kiss."





At Daniel's wedding…

He's in mourning, has been for just over a year; thirteen months and four days (each night he tells himself that he's done and won't count the next day) since he'd turned Jackson down one Friday night. After they'd finished cleaning up from dinner they’d shooed Sam and Teal'c off saying that since they'd supplied the Cajun/Scandinavian cuisine, it was only right that he and Daniel see the remains to their final resting place. Sam snorted and choked until her beer came out her nose as Cam bowed his head and placed his hand over his heart, giving his words a solemn tone for dramatic effect. Teal’c took that opportunity to remove Sam's keys from her hand and stated that he would be driving her home and using her spare room for the night. She rolled her eyes and snickered when he said the words, 'too inebriated', but didn't disagree.

Cam was fishing himself another beer from the fridge when he heard, "No. I'll be fine. If Mitchell doesn't mind, I'll just sleep on his couch." They all looked at Cam as he twisted off the top of the bottle and nodded. "Of course."

He'd turned off the television after they left and the two of them worked in silence for the next twenty minutes, washing and putting away the dishes. Afterward, they'd sat on the couch talking about nothing, nursing their beers, jazz playing lightly in the background as Cam tried to suss out what had been bothering Jackson for the past several days. It wasn't anything overt, but there has been something definitely off since he'd returned from Washington earlier in the week. He figured the man was simply worn out from having to reassure people over and over again that the Ori weren't going to be needing the Welcome Wagon any time soon.

At least he hoped that he knew Jackson well enough to figure out when something was weighing heavily on the man's mind, and this was different than the usual tug-o-war from all sides.

It didn't take long before Daniel was taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes, claiming that the beers were getting to him. Reaching through the light fog of alcohol, Cam knew that it was much more than that. That wasn't even counting the fact that the man had gone over the same rocky terrain that Cam had during the mission that day and should be as equally wrung out. Despite the amount of alcohol he’d consumed tonight, he could feel every damn inch of the low throbbing ache in muscles that were over-exerted. He thought that the cliff had been too damn high and he didn't want to think about the fact that he'd used to love heights like that. Stretching backward for a few seconds to work out some of the soreness, he let Daniel know that he wasn't the only one finished for the day.

Cam promised Daniel a hearty breakfast the next morning to make up for Sam and Teal’c’s dinner menu which garnered him an answer he couldn’t figure out through the yawn behind it. He gave Daniel some bedding to fix up the couch and a set of t-shirt and shorts to sleep in and wished him pleasant dreams. Head swimming just enough to tilt the hallway a few degrees to the left, Cam's hand touched the wall once or twice to get his bearings. "Didn't think I drank that much," he mumbled as he went into his room. He pulled off his shirt, tossed it in the general direction of his hamper and missed it by a mile. He'd already undone his pants and started to shimmy out of them as he toed off his shoes before shutting off the light and falling into bed.

He thought that he was going to regret not having taken a hot shower in the morning, but morning was too far away to hold onto the thought and Cam drifted off.

It was still dark when Cam woke, unable to breathe, and his body jerked. It took him a few seconds to recognize the feel of hands touching his arms, a whisper shushing calmly.

Daniel.

In his bed.

No, no, no this wasn't happening. He tried to pull away, hating to pull away.

"Mitchell, it's all right. It's just me - Daniel." The hand on his shoulder applied just enough pressure to be a presence and not coercion. "Cameron..."

Daniel's voice was soothing, always had been, but it was also an anchor and gave him something to hold onto, allowing Cam to pull himself together. "I'm good, you can le'go." The grip relaxed, but the hand didn't move.

He propped up on one arm, trying to see Daniel's face, but it was too dark in the room. Only a thief goes traipsing around in the dark, they're the only ones with something to hide, one of his uncles used to say. sometimes though, only obscurity would allow you to really see what was on a person's mind and Cam forced himself to not think of the hand and where it was resting and that maybe this had something to do with what had been eating away at Daniel. "Why are you in my bed?"

"Just… I just didn't want to be alone." The words were hesitant and faded away in the silence of the room.

"Alone." He let himself, for a moment, the length of time it took for his heart to thud loudly in his chest three, four times, savor the feel of Daniel's hand lying on his bare skin. Felt every callus as the man ran his hand down the length of Cam's arm, down to his stomach.

A gentle shove directed him onto his back and he was a willing accomplice. And he'd wanted this. So damn much. For too fucking long. Worth it…

Daniel moved closer, there was no space left between them, he could feel the heat radiating from him, could smell him: sweet and musky, and Cam felt even more drunk than he did when he went to bed.

Cam's mind briefly drifted to the first time he wanted to be more to Daniel than just a teammate or even a friend. He’d been leaning back in his chair, dozing off and watching Daniel hip-deep in books and dust with his gun resting across his lap. Brains and bravery and Cam couldn't help it if that kind of that combo was a one-two punch to his libido. The image in his mind complemented the reality in his bed so thoroughly that it jarred him, making the tingling pleasure he felt as Daniel slowly kissed up the length of his chest turn into fear and then into stark terror. Because that little epiphany happened on the job, during the course of his duty, and if his true feelings were ever found out, what he wanted, that he wanted this man, he would never be able to perform that duty again. Would never be able to see what was on the other side of the gate, to help others who needed it, to protect his planet. They, those who make important decisions blindly, wouldn't allow him.

Cam's choice was made before he could really consider saying to hell with it and he stopped Daniel with a touch, caressing the side of his head. "Stop, I – we – can't do this."

Daniel looked up through the dark, held him in place. "But you want to."

"I can't," he hesitated a second, wanted to call him Daniel, partner, and lover, "Jackson." Oh, I want to… Please see that.

Daniel was close enough that Cam could see his expression, and it told him that he was understood, he knew that Cam desperately wanted it all to be different.

When Daniel sat up, fingers lingering as they trailed away, he leaned against the headboard and surprised Cam with a kiss on his temple, hesitating for several seconds as his lips rested against the too-warm flesh. Cam wanted to turn his head and have this goodbye be slightly less gracious.

"I'll be on the couch," he whispered against Cam's ear and moved away. Cam watched as Daniel swung his legs over the side of the bed, dressing silently back into the borrowed clothing. When he stopped in the doorway; Cam was only able to see his silhouette as he turned and Cam was sure he could hear the smile in his teammate's voice as he said, "Buy you coffee in the morning, Mitchell."

"Thank you," he'd answered, wanting to say 'for everything', but with Daniel there was no need.

Looking away briefly from the two men standing in the spotlight, in front of their most trusted friends, Cam gets his memories in check. He’s known for a long time now what it was bothering Daniel that night, knows that his refusal that night was something that Daniel needed, no matter how much it hurts now to think about it. And he knows that he wishes them all of the happiness in the world, because they deserve it, each other, and the peace that only they can provide one another.

When they say, "I Do," Cam breathes a sigh of relief and regret, but he knows that they've paved the way, only this time not across the galaxy. Heroes that have saved the planet a dozen times do that, get an act or two passed with help from a willing politician, and it's only a matter of time before he finds someone of his own.

fin
Tags: ,
 
 
moodswing: accomplishedaccomplished
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Kaz: alt cameron - SG1kazbaby on January 29th, 2008 06:19 am (UTC)
Oh, these are both just lovely! *smooshes you in a great big hug*


*smooshes you back*

I love the understated slash at Sam and Jack's wedding,


Couldn't leave them all alone in the world. Who knows what trouble they'd get into. ;)


and I am a complete PATSY for noble renunciation, so you kind of had me at "mourning" on the second one, you know..


*makes a squeaking noise* I had no idea! *iz proud*

I'm so glad we managed to lure you over here to Stargate.... :)


All your fault, or would that by Syn's fault since I found you because of her? Or is it Ben Browder's fault since he just goes with everyone? :D

Thank you for all of your help with this and putting up with fifty million questions. *hugs you some more*

(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - kazbaby on January 29th, 2008 06:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
Synecdochicsynecdochic on January 29th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
Oh, these are beautiful. Especially Cam's flashback, and his motivations for why he said no. Poor baby! He needs a hug. *g*
Kaz: nothing else matters - SG-1kazbaby on January 29th, 2008 06:40 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I definitely think he needs a hug.

*line starts behind me* :D

whoops wrong icon the first time. *blushA*

Edited at 2008-01-29 06:40 am (UTC)
pixieladykuwdora on January 29th, 2008 10:34 am (UTC)
wow, these are so amazing. hopefully i'll be back when it's not 4:30AM with some better comments.

beautifully written. prose. so good.
Kaz: alt cameron - SG1kazbaby on January 29th, 2008 11:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed them and your comments were just fine. :D

(Deleted comment)
Kaz: alt cameron - SG1kazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
the peace only they can give each other: oh hell yes.


You can attribute that to the fact I've recently started enjoying Jack/Daniel and started to do a video for them. *gives ivorygates a look*

and i love how you can write wedding fic with no schmoop whatsoever. do you give lessons?


hee! I wish I had a real idea on how I accomplished that. I guess it's because I had Cam looking at it from a distance.

Thank you so much for coming over and letting me know that you enjoyed the story (and that I got Cam's voice right).
eclipse: Mitchell2gigerisgod on January 29th, 2008 12:14 pm (UTC)
Dammit, I wanted Cam to say yes! I mean they were in his bed - points to Jackson for being proactive - and Cam wanted it and he says he can't. *Died*

So, I love him because he thinks he's doing the right thing. Even half in the bag. Doesn't mean I can't mourn the hot man-on-man sex that almost was. So very pretty.

Kaz, these are both awesome. Especially liked the ending to the first piece.
Kaz: nothing else matters - SG-1kazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
Dammit, I wanted Cam to say yes! I mean they were in his bed


Me too!

Kaz, these are both awesome. Especially liked the ending to the first piece.


Thank you so much! :D
barefoot_chick: marybarefoot_chick on January 29th, 2008 02:11 pm (UTC)
Eep! Those are both loverly fics. I didn't think I'd like wedding fic with a touch of the melancholy, but I do! The second one...Fics with Cam always manage to break my heart in one way or another.
Kaz: alt cameron - SG1kazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
I didn't think I'd like wedding fic with a touch of the melancholy, but I do!


I've been told I can do that with the happiest of fics. *blush*

Thank you very much for reading.
grammarwomangrammarwoman on January 29th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Linked in from ivorygates. Lovely work here -- it's just like Cameron to be able to take some strength for doing the right thing and move on.

So, um...*bashful* I may have done some stalking through your recent posts, and would it be alright if I friended you? Anyone with that much BB and FS love is a welcome sight in my flist.
Kaz: mitchell bomb - SG1 (not for sharing)kazbaby on January 29th, 2008 04:12 pm (UTC)
Lovely work here -- it's just like Cameron to be able to take some strength for doing the right thing and move on.


Thank you! That's one of the things that I love about Cameron. His ability to see (and do) what needs to be done no matter how much he hates it. But he finds that one little thread of hope within the act and holds on like a pitbull and lets himself adapt and make himself stronger with it.

So, um...*bashful* I may have done some stalking through your recent posts, and would it be alright if I friended you? Anyone with that much BB and FS love is a welcome sight in my flist.


That's cool with me. :D But I should warn you that I am a total Browder fangirl and have a tendency to gush a bit when it comes to him and his characters. bat eyelashes
(no subject) - grammarwoman on January 30th, 2008 03:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
FIAthehallway on January 29th, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
jesus h. christ these are fucking beautiful. no. i mean it.they take my fucking breath away. you have really outdone yourself here, girl.

i feel privileged to have read them.

Kaz: surrender yourselfkazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
*blushes* Thanks darlin, that means a lot coming from you.
stultiloquentia on January 30th, 2008 12:27 am (UTC)
Gorgeous. Loved 'em. Am a total sucker for Cam Mitchell, so it wasn't a hard sell, but am an even bigger sucker for fine writing. What a pleasure.
Kaz: wake me - SG1(not for sharing)kazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
I'm a sucker for Cam as well.

but am an even bigger sucker for fine writing. What a pleasure.


*curtsies* Thank you! I'm happy that you enjoyed these.
eveevesharmony on January 30th, 2008 12:34 am (UTC)
Oh wow - these are great! I loved the little touch of Cam's parents standing up for Sam, and the entirety of the second story broke my heart (but in a good way). Plus, as much as I love the idea of Cameron/Daniel, realistically, I think that Cameron would sacrifice what he wanted if he thought it would be the best for the team.
Kaz: mitchell bomb - SG1 (not for sharing)kazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Oh wow - these are great! I loved the little touch of Cam's parents standing up for Sam,


I guess a bit of synecdochic and ivorygates fanon decided to poke its head into this because it just felt right when I started filling the story out more.

Plus, as much as I love the idea of Cameron/Daniel, realistically, I think that Cameron would sacrifice what he wanted if he thought it would be the best for the team.


Sometimes I think Cameron is just too noble for his own good. *pets him*

Thank you for reading. :d

Edited at 2008-02-01 07:58 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - evesharmony on February 3rd, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tesserae_ on January 30th, 2008 03:22 am (UTC)
These are just gorgeous... and Cam saying "no" to Daniel in this way, for these reasons, feels exactly right...
Kaz: alt cameron - SG1kazbaby on February 1st, 2008 07:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you for letting me know, and for reading.
Liza: Blue Jellolizamanynames on February 3rd, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)
The first fic is very well written, of the usual high quality one of your fics will always be. Cam's characterization is great. Anything else I can say about it, I refuse to, except that my objections to it have nothing to do with you or your writing.

The second I loved unabashedly and utterly, so sad, sweet and wonderful - and the flashback was both smokin hot and broke my heart.

You really do write Cam better than anybody I know.
Kaz: Let's Face It (SG1)kazbaby on February 4th, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
Anything else I can say about it, I refuse to, except that my objections to it have nothing to do with you or your writing.


I understand since I know who your real OTP is with Sam. ;) I appreciate that you still read it. *g*

The second I loved unabashedly and utterly, so sad, sweet and wonderful - and the flashback was both smokin hot and broke my heart.

You really do write Cam better than anybody I know.


If you weren't already married or that I hadn't already promised my hand in marriage to ivorygates, I'd sweep you away for saying such wonderful things.
Frellnik (Lisa)ameshinju on February 17th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
I have no idea how I managed to miss these, but they are absolutely beautiful.

The second story made me want to cry. Poor Cam, he did the right thing but that must have really hurt.

And Sam's wedding was just beautiful. I love the interaction between Cam and Daniel at the end.

Wonderful background stories for those pictures.
Kaz: wake me - SG1(not for sharing)kazbaby on February 20th, 2008 05:58 am (UTC)
*curtsies* Thank you very kindly. :D

(sorry for being late on answering you, I didn't get the notification until this evening)
(no subject) - ameshinju on February 24th, 2008 05:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
adafrogadafrog on August 28th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
Oh wonderful, and heartbreaking.
Kaz: Lean Against Me (Cameron/Daniel)kazbaby on August 28th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it. *g*