Kaz (kazbaby) wrote,
Kaz
kazbaby

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"Aunt Shanny, you sound funny."

That's what I keep hearing from the little ones because the nice sinus cold I've been fighting for the last week or two has decided to warp and I've lost my voice. Sadly I think I've given the cold to Junior and V since the baby's little nose is running like a fountain half the time and V's voice is squeaking like a teenage boy during puberty.

**

News on dad isn't much better today, they were able to take him off the ventilator yesterday only to put him back on because his lungs are filling with fluid again and the hospital says they can't go back in yet to re-drain it. They're wanting to simply transfer him to a nursing home so that he can die there instead of in the hospital. I'm sorry, but... no. If he can't die in his own bed, then it sure as fuck isn't going to be in a goddamn nursing home. They also want to put him on a respirator. Hell. No. Dad doesn't want that and if he wasn't sedated and strapped down, he'd let them know too.

After talking to the rest of the family and they all agree that it's time to let dad go. He - and my brother - have fought long enough to keep him alive, but at this point the only way to do it is if dad remains hooked up on a machine. T wants me to be there when it's time. I don't want (can't) be there when he goes.

My brother is a hell of a lot stronger than I am when it comes to all of this. He's been the one to deal with dad, his drinking, the doctors and hospital and paperwork and doing his best. While I may not agree with him on some of the decisions he's made, I know that he's done it all out of love for our dad. Trying to give him the best possible chance he can because fate is a bitch and likes to PMS.
Tags: family
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