In lieu of actual content, I offer a meme gakked from ivorygates.
If you had me under your command and could make me write anything, what would you love to see me write? I'm not actually going to write any of these (unless something strikes me), but I am curious.
ETA: I got a package in the mail yesterday that I suspect is from you kernezelda. (The package was thrown in the dumpster before I could look at the sender's name.) If you sent me Chocolate Truffles.