Kaz (kazbaby) wrote,

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what happens when kazbaby is denied her pizza

It's that time of year where a person starts feeling nostalgic and trying to decide what they want to do for Thanksgiving. Just a little convo between ivorygates and myself as we try and figure out what to do for the holiday.

winking devil

kazbaby: i decided to save the frozen turkey for thanksgiving. lol
ivorygates: wow. that's coming up, isn't it?
kazbaby: yup
ivorygates: double wow.
ivorygates: i never do anything for t'day
ivorygates: *sigh*
kazbaby: if you were here i'd cook you a frozen turkey tv dinner honey.
ivorygates: *giggle*
ivorygates: if i were there i'd take us out somewhere
kazbaby: wanna come for a visit?
kazbaby: hehe
ivorygates: next year maybe
kazbaby: we'll paint the town with pron... i mean with turkey
ivorygates: has to be when the room mate has vacation and i have airfare
kazbaby: actually dirty fic is better.
ivorygates: turkeypron!
kazbaby: ooooooooooooo
kazbaby: do we want to go to THAT special hell?
ivorygates: sure!
ivorygates: we could commute!
kazbaby: something about sex with a turkey baster.
ivorygates: *dies*
ivorygates: gotta get the lube up there somehow
kazbaby: okay, we've got to write somehting for this year just to fuck with people.
ivorygates: hmmm
ivorygates: what?
kazbaby: turkeyporn
ivorygates: gah
kazbaby: have everyone at the SGC at Cam's. he can't get leave to see his family. so he volunteers to cook dinner.
ivorygates: right so far
kazbaby: some baddie has poisoned their food to take them out or something and it's actually an aphrodisiac. everyone starts to get it on.
ivorygates: *snicker*
kazbaby: hammond/landry, vala/sam/daniel/cam/jack
ivorygates: bad, bad, bad...
ivorygates: oh god!
kazbaby: didn't say it couldn't be CRACKFIC!
ivorygates: if there's Landry!Sex I will become celibate forever!
kazbaby: no sex for landry, he's an asshole. but he gives hammand a blowjob
kazbaby: vala throws popcorn at him and tells him he's not doing it right.
ivorygates: oh, god, can't we have them be somewhere else?
ivorygates: besides, hammond has family!
kazbaby: oh yeah.
kazbaby: no generals then but jack
ivorygates: and I'M SURE he'd drag Hank along with him
ivorygates: (yes)
ivorygates: (just the hot cute generals)
kazbaby: *snicker*
ivorygates: and oh hey.
kazbaby : so vala tells jack he's blowing daniel wrong. needs more tongue action.
ivorygates: it *would* have been poison but it's an alien poison developed by and for the Jaffa (being used by the Lucians) and it turns into an aphrodisiac when it's mixed with alcohol.
ivorygates: which the Jaffa don't use.
ivorygates: but of course everybody's drinking because it's thanksgiving. except Teal'c.
kazbaby: ooo...forgot about teal'c being there too! *smacks hand* i get no cookie!
ivorygates: (he cold be going to visit Ish'ta!)
kazbaby: must have cam/teal'c action!
ivorygates: mmmm
ivorygates: only they badger Teal'c into drinking the toast. since he doesn't have a prim'ta now.
kazbaby: wait. he's not affected.... so he just really likes cam when cam comes onto him.
ivorygates: he has to have *some* alcohol in his system or else he's going to be dead.
ivorygates: unless he didn't eat any of the poisoned dish
kazbaby: and the rush of pheromones actually ends up neutralizing the poison so it cancels itself out after an hour or two. just enough time for nookie for everyone!
ivorygates: yes!
ivorygates: sex! nudity! embarrassing memories!
kazbaby: almost a typical family reunion!
ivorygates: *dies*

(LJ-ify your IMs before pasting!)
Tags: bad!fic, sg-1 fic

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