Setting: Season 2 between Won't Get Fooled Again and A Clockwork Nebari.
Characters: John and his girl (ie: Winona).
Rating: PG for earth curse words.
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were we'd have a Farscape channel.
None But My Own
So many cities and windows and lives
And through each one there's a soul that strives to survive. – Let Your Troubles Roll On By by Carbon Leaf.
He fires the gun, ignoring the shots that fly by his head, and imagines it is Scorpius’ image he has killed.
He’s killed him so many times.
In dark corners of Moya’s corridors.
As the bastard dashes out between buildings as they’re shooting their way back to safety. Making their way home. A house of straw that sits precariously on the edge of a cliff waiting for the wind, for him, to blow in the wrong direction.
He knows the sneer isn’t really there when it appears just over Aeryn’s shoulder as she’s droning on quietly about some lesson instilled in her during her cadet days, trying to calm him after he’s ripped himself from a nightmare. He counts to ten, then twenty and fifty all over again, only then are they left alone. In tenacious hope that holds on by its teeth.
He keeps his gun with him at all times, unsure when the phantom will become real.
A warning shout in Luxan doesn’t make him flinch in fear or resignation and he kills the Peacekeeper three more times over, he decides his gun needs a name. She’s the only other girl that’s gotten him out of more trouble than in and anyone that does that needs some respect in his book.
When it becomes more than an effort to go to Aeryn, when the words freeze in his throat, she at least is able to give him continued comfort. He has a strong feeling that she won’t be able to do what needs to be done when the time comes. And it will come soon. Scorpius has been popping up with more and more frequency and sometimes the bastard just won’t shut up, drowning out everything else.
But he doesn’t tell her that as she rests warmly in the palm of his hand, primed and well rested until just a split second before he shoots another bounty hunter who has designs of getting rich quick. He pastes Scorpius onto this one’s place as well. It makes him feel better - as if he has some control left in his life.
He knows the truth, deep inside, that if it was really Scorpius, he wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger, and he ignores it.