Look Maw...I made sumpin'.
Then there's this...I suggest you put away all liquids, and to lay a few pillows around you for when you land on the floor. Stargate SG-1 Breadbox Edition - Avalon part 1
TEASER
INT. SGC CONTROL ROOM
[A TECHNICIAN AND CHEVRON GUY WATCH THE GATE ROOM, AS MITCHELL, IN FULL DRESS UNIFORM, IS WALKING UP THE RAMP TO THE INACTIVE STARGATE.]
TECHNICIAN: Who's that?
CHEVRON GUY: Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell. Two years ago. Dogfight over Antarctica. SG-1 found the Ancient Outpost. Took out Anubis's fleet.
TECHNICIAN: (awed tone) That's him?
CHEVRON GUY: That's him.
FARSCAPE FANS: That's *him* baybee!
INT. SGC GATE ROOM
[MITCHELL IS STUDYING THE STARGATE WITH INTEREST. HE REACHES DOWN TO TOUCH THE RING.]
AUDIENCE: He's totally feeling the gate up, isn't he?
SGC STARGATE: [humming "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman"] 'Bout damn time someone shows me the love and respect I deserve.
ATLANTIS GATE: But... but... I got the Vegas slot machine upgrade!
SGC STARGATE: Age and experience trumps flashy trash every time, you ho.
ATLANTIS GATE: Bitch.
SGC STARGATE: Skank.
PUDDLE JUMPER: You know I love you both equally, right? [...] So how about a little three-way action?
Ya...and it keeps getting better from there!
Oh, and this is courtesy of
Dancing Penis