Kaz (kazbaby) wrote,
Kaz
kazbaby

Gotta love spam from my friend Phi



HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK -

When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "Good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the shit out of her" ...

You need to pray at work.

When someone comes in and announces, "Office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "What the f..k do they want now?".....

You need to pray at work.

When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "Which one of you sons of bitches turned off my computer?" .....

You need to pray at work.

When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes in and says, "Well at my last office...", and you want to throw a stapler at him...

You need to pray at work.

When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses your mind is, "What the hell does this bitch want now?" and you try to hide underneath your desk.........

You need to pray at work.

When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "Both of y'all can kiss my ass!!" ....

You need to pray at work.

When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to go DOWN one floor,and you say "that lazy bastard".....

You need to pray at work.

When you take some vacation time and come back to find a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you think, "Sorry ass M#$^%F%&#s".......

You need to pray at work.

If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping, or flattening someone's tires that you work with......

You need to pray at work.

If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story....

You need to pray at work!

LET US ALL BOW OUR HEADS



A young hotshot, named Bob gets a job with the IRS. His first assignment is to audit an old rabbi.

He thinks he is going to have a little fun with the rabbi, so he says, "Rabbi, what do you do with the drippings of the candles?"

The Rabbi says, "We send them to the factory, and every once in a while they send us a free candle."

Bob asks, " What do you do with the crumbs from your table?"

The Rabbi says, " We send them to the Matzah ball factory, and every once in a while we get a box of Matzah balls."

Bob asks, " What do you do with the foreskins from your circumcisions?"

The Rabbi says, "We send them to the IRS, and every once in a while they send us a prick like you."
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