Kaz (kazbaby) wrote,
Kaz
kazbaby

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Discovering things

Today was my day off and I intended to do a lot of things.

1. Change out my computer desk: Someone was getting rid of office furniture two doors down from my work so I nabbed two wooden filing cabinets and this monster of a desk. Oh, you should have seen the dirty looks I got from my mother when she saw it. All I could say was, "It was free, and someone finally gave 'me' furniture." The dirty looks continued, especially after the new desk ripped off part of the door frame to my bedroom. "It was free Mom!" Made me feel 12 again.

2. Get more written on 2 Johns. Which I have, just not the amount I wanted. My brain is at the bottom of the page and my fingers are still on the first line, and there are many mistakes on it.

3. Clean out some of the junk from my room. Half-assed done. I'll finish it tomorrow, or Thursday...probably Thursday cause I'm stuck watching the kids again cause it's a half-day at school.

But I found something in my cleaning and re-arrainging, my birthday cards from last year. One from my mom, the other from my sister. Tina's said on the outside: Happy Birthday Sister! I know ther have been times when I bugged you, teased you and pestered you, but on this 'special' day, I just wanted you to know....(on the inside) I plan to continue. She signed it: Happy Birthday old lady HA HA your getting old. Love your lil sis. *sob*

This has fucked me up so goddamn bad! She was right...she did keep bugging me, in her own way. I guess this is what has been bothering me and getting me down lately. It's coming up on the 1 year anniversary of her dying and this will be the first birthday I'll have without Tina. I haven't broke down like this since after I sang at her funeral. Fuck I miss that pain in ass scrawny bitch. I need to go get me an asprine. Sorry for rambling like this.
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