Kaz (kazbaby) wrote,

You say what?

Author's Notes: I know this isn’t the best fic in the world. Written
straight to the board because I was bored and killing time while waiting to go to the airport, so all mistakes are mine, and all feedback is welcome.
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, we'd have a Farscape channel.

The Box

The tiny package was unlabled, covered in a green non-descript cloth. Shaking it gently revealed nothing of the contents or who might have ordered its delivery. For once, they were an unknown quantity. Or so they'd thought when they landed the pod in their assigned dock.

D'Argo pulled Rygel back from grabbing the box from John's hand when the human eyed it suspiciously instead of opening it.

John looked up, quirking an eyebrow. "What do you think? Open or shoot it?"

"What did the boy say when he gave it to you," D'Argo asked, continuing to hold Rygel at bay by the scruff of his neck.

"This is for you, then he ran off as if his butt was on fire. So I vote for shooting it."

"I think we should wait for Aeryn and Chiana to get back for the dock master's office."

John put the box on the ground and walked away from it. His eyes never straying from the package. He didn't like that he hadn't been on the planet more than five minutes and someone was giving him what could be, with their luck, Pandora's box as a present.

"I'm shooting it." Before D'Argo or Rygel voiced their complaints, John had already pulled his weapon and disposed of the questionable container. The result surprised them as they were all soon covered in a dark, thick gelatinous material that dribbled down their faces.

"Hezmana!" D'Argo tried wiping his face, but only managed to smear it even worse. "I told you to frelling wait for Aeryn and Chiana. What if this is some sort of chemical weapon or poison?"

John stared at the Luxan, his hair plastered to the top of his head. Suddenly the look of surprise left his face as he began running toward the pod and the showers it contained. He shoved Rygel away as he hovered at the entrance to the door. "Out of the way, bubble boy. I call dibs!"

"If we die from this, Crichton. I swear I will find you in the after-life and I will make your existance even more miserable than it already is," Rygel shouted outside the door to the refresher as John turned on the water and jumped inside, clothing and all.

After cleaning his hair, John scrubbed every inch of skin, removing the gooey liquid. He was surprised that Rygel's threats had stopped after only a few microts, or that D'Argo hadn't joined in the tirade.

Getting out of the shower, John realized he'd been in such a hurry to beat the others to the shower that he'd forgotten his clothing. Hoping that he had a spare set in the back of the pod, John looked out the door and saw no sign of anyone else.


There was no answer.

"Rygel?" Again, the only thing that replied was the distant sound of the commerce coming from the open doorway to the pod. Starting to worry that something may have happened to them and foregoing any embarrassment of being seen nude, John ran toward the back, hissing at the cold metal on his bare feet. Searching through the different containers where they would occasionally keep spare clothes and other supplies. He cursed when the only thing he found were medical supplies and food cubes.

Realizing his only alternative was wearing the wet clothing he'd only just taken off, John returned to the refresher to find them gone.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny you two. Alright, I give," he said walking toward the front of the pod, "I shouldn't have shot the damn box. Just give me back my stuff!" He stopped when he saw Aeryn standing in the center of the small chamber, holding the destroyed box by two fingers.

"I hope you can explain why, after I went through the trouble of finding this, and having it delivered, that you would shoot it." Dropping the box on the floor, she walked the short distance to him.

Taking in his appearance, the hard line of her lips melted into a smile.

Startled by the question, John only looked at her mutly. Gift? It wasn't a set up?

Slapping his naked rear, Aeryn laughed. "I have to admire your choice in celebration, I guess I can forgive you destroying your gift. Even though it was almost impossible to come by."

Confused by statement and the smack, John asked, "What in the heck are you talking about, Aeryn. Celebration?"

Stepping back, Aeryn returned John's look of surprise. "You don't know do you? It's your birthday, John. I had Pilot keep track once we left Earth."

Laughing, John didn't notice at first as the others came into the pod until Rygel groaned. "Are you going to stand there all frelling day like that?"

"Is this what you call your birthday suit?" Aeryn asked before handing John the dried clothing that D'Argo had brought with him.

"Oh hell!" Covering himself, John toward the back and out of everyone's line of sight. "What was in the box?" John yelled as he dressed.


John groaned and muttered, "I should have listened to D'Argo"
Tags: farscape, fic

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