Kaz (kazbaby) wrote,
Kaz
kazbaby

2 John snippet

I think this will be the last snippet I'll post of 2 Johns. Not sure yet. But I would like some honest feedback here regarding Scorpius' voice. I struggled with it here while back and I feel better with this version. Please let me know.


The only sound in the room was the soft, barely discernable, hiss of the atmospherics running through the ventilation. If not for Co’Kura’s report in front of him, the familiar sound would almost be relaxing.

The report read as countless others had before it. The phase stabilization was still ineffective in protecting Prowler pilots from tissue liquefaction.

He heard the door to his quarters open and the distinct fall of Lieutenant Braca’s footstep as he crossed the room.

"Sir, We have received a communication from Captain Kelvis’ command carrier. John Crichton and Officer Sun were apprehended two solar days ago. They are expected to arrive within the next four arns." Glancing up, Scorpius could see that Braca was barely restraining a smile from his face.

"Really...and did they put up much resistance?"

"Actually no, Sir. According to the report, Crichton tried to hide, but was cornered. Officer Sun gave herself up when she saw this."

Hearing this, Scorpius frowned. “And the others?”

After two cycles he knew that Officer Sun would never give up so willingly. Preferring, instead, to wait and attempt a rescue of some sort. And Crichton hiding? Something was not right with the way they had behaved.

“There is no indication in the report that their friends tried any type of assistance.”

Putting aside the data pad in his hand, Scorpius said, "I want to see the report on their capture immediately.”

"Yes, Sir."

Obviously the Lieutenant predicted his reaction and placed a data chip before him then stood waiting for further instruction. "It is also accompanied with a video link of them in their cells. Kelvis thought you might be interested.”

"He did now?"

Inserting the chip, the view from the monitor showed Crichton's figure on the bed, wrapped up in a blanket. They both listened to Crichton's cries for his mother.

Quickly scanning the report, Scorpius saw that Crichton had been behaving in this fashion since he awoke and found himself alone. He had, in fact, acted quite hysterically in a pathetic attempt to be reunited with Sun.

Scorpius' attention focused back to the screen when he noticed Crichton climbing off the bed. The Human's step was slow as he tried to undo the prisoner jumpsuit that replaced his own clothing. His sobs increased as it appeared his fingers couldn’t figure out the clasps. Scorpius couldn’t hide his surprise when a dark stain appeared on the front of Crichton's clothing and the man tried even harder to remove the clothing off of him.

Suddenly he stopped and covered up his face, "I want mommy..." His shoulders shook as he stood there for a moment before turning around and climbing back onto the bed and covered up with the blanket once more.

Without bothering to look at the Lieutenant, Scorpius ordered, “As soon as they arrive, have Sun brought to me immediately.”

Staring at the monitor, his mind automatically thought of the last time he saw Crichton, or at least a manifestation of the man. The person occupying that cell was in no way that he could see, the same.
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