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02 April 2011 @ 12:53 pm
thinking too much  
It's weird but sometimes I like to watch a movie that my dad loved simply as a way to remember him. Take Jeremiah Johnson for example. I remember the first time I watched it with my dad was during the '81 election and how he complained (and boy did he ever!) when the news would interrupt the movie with election results. *g*

Over the years whenever we'd watch it I'd listen to him talk about how much he'd always wanted to do that, be a mountain man and living off the land. His dream when he met my mom was to move to Alaska and build a cabin. He was studying Forestry at the time they met, but his priorities changed after she became pregnant with me and he went back to working for my grandpa in the family's logging business (and later studying electronics while getting his GED).

Once, I'm not sure how it started but I'm sure it was due to him reading a novel about the beginnings of the Alaskan pipeline, I told him that I always felt bad that he had to give up his dream because of me. The look on his face sorta freaked me out with how much he focused on me suddenly and he told me that I wasn't the reason behind his decision to not go north and I was better than any dream and he wouldn't have changed things. He hadn't thought it was right to drag a young wife and baby into the mountains even if he had a job with the forestry service and that he and mom had planned on going when I was older but then grandpa passed away so dad and his brothers tried to make the logging business work for a while before shutting it down when work became scarce.

When we lived in Minnesota he used to take me (and later the rest of the family) out in the woods, either staying in a cabin or roughing it in a tent, and I could see why he loved it so much. Though to be honest, I really could have done without freezing my ass off despite the snowmobile suits I had to wear that made me look like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. :D

Funny how movies spark memories, isn't it?

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moodswing: contemplativecontemplative